Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people.
-Nido Qubein

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
– Socrates

O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which
doth mock the meat it feeds on.
– William Shakespeare

My mother said to me, “If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.” Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
-Pablo Picasso

African-American Neighborhood Terrorized By Ask Murderer
-The Onion headline (That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on The Onion!)