- Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces
- Don’t cook bacon naked
- If he honks when he’s there to pick you up, don’t walk out the door!
- Never try to have a staring contest with a newborn. It is one of the weirdest things you’ll ever do. By the time it’s over you will question your very existence.
- Throughout life, you’re going to meet women who just don’t like you, and that’s okay, cause they are probably ugly.
- Throughout life, you’re going to meet men that say “I’m not like every other guy,” but they are.
- Saying something critical followed by “I mean that in a good way though” is just plain rude. I mean that in a good way though.
- People who don’t lie to you never spend a lot of time telling you how they don’t lie to you, they just don’t lie to you.
- When you’re doing laundry, read the labels on your clothes. When in doubt, wash everything in cold.
- One day, in the future, during a job interview, someone will ask you “What’s your greatest weakness?” This isn’t an invitation to be honest. This is a test to see how well you can answer a stupid question.
- Almost everything in life is better in moderation, particularly Netflix, water parks, the Internet, and Twizzlers.
- Praise in public, criticize in private.
- You can be mad at someone and still love them at the same time. This can be very confusing.
- No matter how badly someone might have treated you, give them love, kindness, and forgiveness in return. They are going to need all the love they can get after me and my boys are done with them.
- Being right 100% of the time is not important. Meaning well 100% of the time is.
- Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.
- People WILL judge you by the way you look. Keep that in mind when you are picking out your outfits.
- You don’t have to enjoy football, basketball or baseball, but you should have a working knowledge of them.
- You don’t have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch. That’s how I ended up with your mother(s).
- Your future employer WILL judge you by the things you post on the internet. The internet is forever. Think about that before you press the button…every time. If your mom and dad shouldn’t see it…don’t post it.