Being 50 is so strange. There are times when I feel like I am still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. There are times when I feel like I am 25 with the world is still in front of me. Then, I look in the mirror and the lines on my face and the extra weight around my waist tell me the truth. I am now headed out of the woods. I am on the latter part of my life. I feel like I left so much on the table. I feel like, well, is this it? Is this all there is?
Then, I look at my 3 daughters and realize that I have already accomplished all of my dreams. I am a father and there is nothing better. My goal is to be here as long as they need me. To be a father as long as possible. I am actually living the dream.
Yeah, it’s a melodramatic post. But, it’s my reality and I love it. Is there anything better than being a mother or a father, I think not. I am still fighting for goals, making records, playing shows, writing and fighting to be better. But the dream, my ultimate goal, that was accomplished the day I became a father.
To know me enough to really get me you need to listen to the following 5 albums:
- Welcome to my Nightmare – Alice Cooper
- Gordon – Barenaked Ladies
- Bitches Brew – Miles Davis
- The Meantime – Randall Bramblett
- God Shuffled His Feet – Crash Test Dummies
I can’t really say this too much but my three daughters are amazing. I am so proud of them always. During the ups they show their character by always being humble. During the downs they show their character by being strong and always persevering. All three of them have spent time helping the homeless and children with special needs. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is getting the best of me, they give me strength. The greatest thing I’ve ever known is being a father.
I love you;
I’m here for you;
And you are worth it!
I am working on something big…really really big. I can’t tell you what it is…but I will tell you at a distant time in the future, that will actually never come. But, my gracious big things are in the works. I’m not a big deal yet…but…you might as well start treating me like I am because what’s about to happen, this thing in the works, that I can’t mention, is epic. Also, Prayers Please. I can’t tell you any details, but it’s for a friend, I can’t tell you their name…or even their preferred pronoun…but please pray…in great generalities for a person that doesn’t exist…I mean that does exist but needs prayer. I am posting this request because I want everyone to know what a great empathetic person I am. Also, and you know who you are, I will never forgive you. You can fool me once, or twice, or thrice, or even frice, but never more than frice. Forgiveness is for those who seek it….and I’m waiting. Until then you evil straw-man, forever be gone.
This post has been brought to you by overly dramatic attention seeking facebook guy.
Friends, I have a confession to make. There have been times, a lot of them actually, where I have lied to you, and I’m truly ashamed. Many many times I have indicated that I’ve ‘laughed out loud’ or, more recognizable in it’s short form, ‘LOL’ without actually laughing out loud at all. Sometimes I only smile inside a little (SIaL). One time, sometime near Christmas, I replied with a LOL to a pretty unfunny post out of pure sympathy (LOLooPS) when what I was really doing was shaking my head (SMH). This lack of integrity (LOI) has caused me great consternation and photosynthesis (i like big words). From here on out I promise to be more precise with my acronyms, more up front, more honest, acronym transparent if you will. If I post a LOL then I actually laughed out loud for realz…as the kids say. If I SMH then I actually shook my head back and forth and probably sighed a little (SAL). Please accept my sincere apology (MSA) and I only hope that over time I can regain your trust. If you can’t trust a mans acronyms, is he really a man, I think not (ITN). #AcronymTruth∞
I don’t share this “real hate crimes won’t be believed now” concern
Real hate crimes are just that- real. They sound that way. They’re plausible. The facts add up. They are heinous.
But this was -always- obviously fake. It has no effect on what’s real. It changes nothing.
How did I know it was fake you ask… come on, everyone knows that if you kick someone’s ass you get to eat their sandwich. I’ve lost a couple of good sandwiches that way!
War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
This Super Bowl Lacks Excitement
A garbage fire with nipples
Longest Punt Ever
Stay tuned. This one’s getting exciting.
My First Tattoo
I celebrated my 50th birthday by getting my first tattoo. I always wanted to get my daughters initials tattooed on my arm. Erika, Sommer and Mary Margaret (ESM). Mary Margaret and I were at dinner kicking around the idea and were talking about what font to use. Ariel, nope too plain. Comic sans, kind of tired and done. Times new Roman maybe, nope. How about some Chinese letters, but who the heck knows what that’s going to really spell. Then, she asked me what my favorite font was, and I said, “Oh that’s easy… Wing Dings.” So there you have it.
“E S M” in wing dings. A tribute to the three loves of my life!
Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them, then a little past them and just keep going it’s probably not worth it. Phew, that was close.∞
50 is a Big One
Thanks to all my friends for your kind birthday wishes. 50 is a big one…and I feel 50…but I mean that in a good way. When I entered rehab in my early 40’s if you would’ve told me that I would make it to 50 clean and sober it would’ve been the greatest gift ever. When I dropped to my knees in the middle of that Boston street having a heart attack at the young age of 44 I would’ve done anything to be given another 6 years with my 3 daughters. Just 6 months ago, if you would’ve told me that I would turn 50 and all 3 of my daughters would be safe and thriving I would’ve felt like the luckiest man in the world. Here I am at 50 and I feel alive and grateful and blessed and ready to honor every second the good lord will bless me with.∞
So, I lost a good friend at the gym today. We were working out together and while reaching for a weight my hand gently grazed his. There was a long awkward silence followed by a sadness only known to former friends pushed apart by an unfortunate circumstance, a twist of fate if you will. Goodbye my friend, god speed.
Just kidding, we laughed and immediately starting talking about the big Chiefs/Rams game tonight. Gooooo Sports!!!∞
Happy Birthday to my sweet Sommer. The world has never known a prouder dad than me.∞
Honoring My Uncle James Poe!
I will be in Selma Alabama starting tomorrow to celebrate the life of a great man, my Uncle James. He was the hardest working man I’ve ever known and was always the first to lend a helping hand. The love he shared with my Aunt Barbara Ann was the stuff movies are made of. I wish it was under better circumstances but I’m looking forward to seeing a whole lot of family. God bless the Poe family, see you soon!∞
After suffering a massive stroke earlier this year Sean Demery has died. My buddy Steve Craig said it best –
Words cannot adequately express the love & gratitude I have for Sean Demery. For 40 years, he’s been my best friend, best man, mentor, career counselor, confidant and so much more. He taught me what unconditional friendship really is.s
A Lost Shameful Person
Last night on my way home from the airport I stopped by Publix for a few things. When I walked into the line to check out, my favorite bagger was crying. He is a tall lanky special needs sweetheart of a guy in his early 20s. I always go to his line because he greets me, and everyone with a warm jubilant smile. We always crack jokes and just kind of act silly. The manager came over and took him to the back. The cashier was also crying and closed her line. I asked her what happened and she said that a young girl had called him stupid. She apparently didn’t like the way he looked at her. Yep, that’s it, he looked at her with what she call a “stupid goofy smile.” She then looked at the cashier and said that he was “creeping me the fu** out.”
My heart is broken for my buddy. I hope this bitter young lady with the darkest of hearts wakes up one day and finds her way because right now she is a broken lost shameful person.
I got 99 problems and a winning bracket ain’t one. ∞